Tuesday Ten

When I got the e-mail that said this week's "10" would be 10 things that make me want to vomit, I thought about taking a pass. And then I thought, well, I'm sure I could think of 10 things, right?

Ten Things That Make Me Want to Vomit (or give me the heebie-jeebies)

1. Situps. When they come at the end of an hour class of extreme fitness. The first 75 aren't that bad - they change them around every 25 or so. The last 2 minutes always makes you want to puke. Even if there was a bakery next to the gym I wouldn't be able to eat a thing.

2. Vomit. Well, duh. I'll clean it up, but I don't like it one bit.

3. Cheap Perfume. Oh the sickenly sweet stench of cheap perfume. Enough of it marinating on a single person in close vicinity will trigger an instant migrane. Not that I am a perfume snob. I do not own $500 bottles of perfume. I also do not own $5 bottles of perfume. The ones in the $50 range seem to do the trick nicely.

4. Cheap Cologne. See #3. And guys (if there are any that read this) please spend your $$ here. We'd never notice cheap underwear or socks from WalMart. Cologne from WalMart? Ick.

5. Bad Teachers. I had one last year with Dylan's teacher. It was torture. And made me sick to my stomach. And yes, there are enough of them around.

6. Tongue piercings. I can understand the belly button thing. Some of them are even cute (until you have children and your stomach is no longer cute). I can even get past the eyebrow thing. Sort of. But piercing your tongue? What's the point? So you can endlessly flick a piece of metal against your teeth????

7. Road Kill in the Summer. I will not look. I will not look. I will put up my window and.... I will not look.

8. Eating too Much. You know that feeling. You have stuffed yourself beyond no return. You wish you could go into labor and deliver something. Tums won't help. Possibly the only thing that MAY help is.... vomit.

9. Fake Happy People. The kind that also have fake high pitched happy voices. Turn your back for a moment and they'll whip out their normal grating, whining, I hate life voice. Please, save your acting for someone else.

10. Creepy Old Men. If one more creepy old man stops and stares with his tongue half hanging out, I may vomit. Ick. Do they not know they are just standing there with their tongues hanging out????