1. Cheesey Halloween Decorations. Come on, we've all seen them in the WalMart seasonal aisle. The blow up ghosts and Halloween Tigger and Winnie the Pooh (I still don't get THAT connection to Halloween) that look... okay while inflated, then during the daytime when they are unplugged they lay on the lawn like a used condom. Sorry - that is what I think of when I see the sad, deflated piles. And I'm sure I've pissed off some person is looking out their window right now at their blow up ghost thinking "Cheesey? How can that be cheesey?". I apologize in advance for offending any blow-up condom
2. Costumes. I loved little baby Halloween costumes. Cute little peas in the pod or bumble bees. Then the little buggers grow up and want to be the horrid scary caped blood running down the mask creature that scared the ever living bejezus out of them when they were in preschool. Sigh.
3. Making costumes. Once I've talked some sense into my kids (that blood running down the mask creatures really won't happen in this house) then we have to think of and make costumes. This year I get an easy button - Dylan wants to be the Army dude on Call of Duty 4 (and he's well stocked on all things camo) and Morgan wants to be a hippie chick. The great Mother that I am sent Morgan with a pair of jeans and some markers into school knowing it was a rainy indoor recess day and let her and her friends decorate her jeans. She came back emlazoned with peace and love and upside down peace signs (lol) and hearts.... had fun... and Mom didn't have to do that part. Yeah!
4. Making costumes ahead of time. Today is October 28th. We've known for a while that Morgan wants to be hippie chick, but we just started working on her costume today. You would think I would have learned from Dylan's pre-picture haircut not to wait until the day before, but I tend to put off things that I really don't want to do.
5. Halloween parades at school. I live in Sparta, NJ. Home of Lake Mohawk, NJ. Anyone who lives here doesn't need to hear another word. For those who don't... Lake Mohawk is the place of all things beautiful, including Mom's. Most of the Lake Mohawk kids go to the other school in town, but we have our small share. So... the parade is not about the kids (really), it's snickering over which Mom actually showed up in sweat pants. GASP. Did I mention I hate Halloween parades? You should see the PTO meetings. They are still talking about the Mom who ate the brownies they put out. It wasn't me, I had my grapes I brought with me. ;o)
6. Trick or Treating. I preferred to stay home and answer the door and oooh and ahh over the little tinker bells and pirates. I don't mind walking, but hate the grownups who haven't grown up and hide in the bushes and scare people. OH WAIT> I live with one of them. Who resorted to hiding on the roof and dangling spiders over the little tinkerbelles and watching them scream for their mother. But I digress. This year - another easy button for me. We team up with friends of ours in their neighborhood. Loads of houses, not much hills. One wagon full of beer, hot rum spiced cider and.. oh yeah, hot chocolate for our little ones. Maybe this one isn't on my much hated list anymore.
7. Did I mention decorating? I always feel compelled to decorate for Halloween, or the kids will be traumatized because their house was the only one who didn't have fake headstones in the front yard. One year I actually came up with a really cool decoration - a witch stirring a cauldron. It was really cool - there were red lights under the logs for "fire" and green lights in the giant "cauldron" and a broom stick and a cape and a hat for the witch bent over stirring. BUT. It's in attic somewhere and didn't come out this year. Again.
8. Scary things. Maybe I don't like Halloween so much because I don't like scary things. Like my husband on Halloween. I don't watch scary movies. At all. I actually like to sleep at night and not wake up screaming for dear life. Thank you. Maybe it's god getting back at me for scaring my mother in the kitchen when she first woke up. She took a LONG time to wake up, and we'd stalk her in the kitchen and scream boo and watch her scream. Yup, I think I'm onto something there.
9. Keeping the candy away from the kids. I decided that maybe I should just let Morgan have candy - and not be the veggie and fruit nazi for one year. Yup - I let her have at it with her giant bag of loot from last year. And, by January, she earned the nickname "budda belly". Candy is NOT Morgan's best friend, and I will return to being the fruit and veggie nazi this year.
10. The timing of Halloween. Okay, so I procrastinate and put all things Halloween off until the last moment. Then completely panic that I only have 3 weeks to train for the Turkey Trot, where once again Kristin will say she's 38 when she enters and beat the pants off of me, even though we train together. Which means once I get the pants beat off of me in the Thanksgiving morning 5k, I only have 4 or so weeks until Christmas. AAARRRGGGHHHH>>>>
2 comments:
ok so now im nottttt 38?[it was actually30] i on the other hand love halloween because i need no costume im the psycotic angry mom with oh no...a butt!Agree on the beautiful mom thing unfortunately all these bitches are my closest friends
Not a big fan either. In a bad mood last night getting in the car to drive around the neighborhood trying to find houses that actually had people home. We found 4 houses that didn't have any candy (and they still answered the door?). One of them game the boys $1 which they were cool with. Oh, and we picked up a stray kid somewhere and then had to drive around to find his parent's car at 8:00pm. Oh well. It's over for another year! Oh, and our Mom's do wear sweatpants and costumes and NO ONE cares! :-)
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